Fry Me Up
by Rydia Asuka
Summary: One-shot. After a 'tragic battle,' Patty finds herself receiving a much-needed Christmas gift from an unknown friend.


_This was written for a contest of gaia online. The prompt was to insert yourself and give a gift to one Tales character. You're looking at the winning entry~  
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_Just a quick word before we get started. _

_First off, there is a minor spoiler for the name of the boss in Relewiese Hollow (Secret Mission 20(X-Box 360)/22(PS3)). The Secret Mission will also be referenced, and it is to simply knock her down when she tries to fly up._

_Secondly, this is based off of the __**PS3 version**__ of Vesperia. That means Flynn and Patty are with the party. (This takes place after Flynn (finally!) joins you permanently.) _

_Now, to explain this. Patty has an Arte called "Little Big Chef" in which she rips out a frying pan and, more or less, uses it to smack enemies around, and then cooks a recipe. Its style changes depending on her current status, which can take one of four forms: Brainel, Normal, Critical, or Advance. In Critical, she beats the pan off of the ground three times, and knocks down the target. See where I'm going with this? Good. Then I suppose I will get on with the story. :D_

_This came out way longer than anticipated, by the way. Sorry if it's too long. _

_Also, I used the Japanese forms of address, for the most part...since, technically, there are no English forms for Patty...^^; Well, I used what I could catch, anyway._

Disclaimer: Tales of Vesperia is property of Bandai-Namco.

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**Fry Me Up**

Patty was not having a good day. Sure, it was Christmas and all, yet how was she supposed to cook dinner for everyone without her beloved frying pan? Unfortunately, it had been destroyed in the party's fight with the Khroma Dragon just a week before, and they had yet to find a suitable replacement. They were all just too small to deal with the group's appetite. Eight people and one dog ate a lot.

Then there was the problem that it also had to be sturdy enough to take being used as a weapon. Cooking and battle went together just fine, in her book, and only her precious frying pan had been suitable to handle both.

Only, it was battle that had killed it.

The group of eight had been fighting Khroma when the blonde pirate had noticed the monster start to fly up, wings outstretched to flaunt their massive size. From between the dragon's legs, Patty noticed with a sharp gasp that Yuri was standing right in Khroma's line of fire. She wanted to shout, to warn Yuri to get out of the way, only the dark-haired swordsman was holding his head, clearly stunned by Khroma's previous assault.

Behind her, Patty had heard Raven frantically preparing a bone-chilling Inverno while Rita had been casting a nasty Ground Dasher.

Neither would have been done in time.

Under those conditions, Patty had done the only thing she could. Whipping out her beloved frying pan, she had leapt forward, thumping it three times off of the hard rock of Weccea's bowels in a perfectly executed _Little Big Chef_ arte. Unfortunately, she had never made it to the cooking part. Even as Khroma had shrieked in shock as she plunged face first into the rocky ground next to the Aer Spring, Patty's frying pan had let out a cry of its own as the handle snapped clean off. With a whir, the pan itself had zipped away to disappear into the spring, leaving her holding only the handle.

That had been the end of the blonde girl's patience. With the help of her friends, she had quickly taken the creature down, emerging victorious from yet another arduous battle.

From there, one thing had led to another. Now the group of nine, Flynn having finally decided his place was fighting alongside the guild on the frontlines, were taking a break to celebrate the holiday.

Only, Patty had no frying pan to cook Christmas dinner with! She was extremely picky about her cooking supplies, and the party's frying pan was just not up to her standards. It was too old, crusted with rust from long years of use.

No, it would not do. The rust ruined delicate flavours, it was impossible to do good gravy in that thing...

"Patty-chan?"

"What is it, nano ja?" she asked, turning to look at where Flynn had seated himself next to her on the small hill where some members of the guild were gathered.

"I don't mind cooking the dinner. I know you said you wanted to, but it seems like you do not want to since you lost your frying pan. In that case, I would be honoured to give you a hand."

Smiling a bit at the chivalrous blond, Patty was about to accept the offer to at least have Flynn help out—make the gravy, at the very least. Then when it was bad it would not be her fault—when Yuri interrupted.

"Don't...I'll help her."

"Well, ain't that nice of ya, Yuri. Not like you at all."

"You saying I'm a jerk, Old Man?" Yuri asked, quirking one eyebrow.

"No, I was sayin' it's not like you ta be so chivalrous."

"The hell, Old Man?"

Cutting off the playful fight before it could start, Patty bounded over to Yuri and grabbed the man's arm.

"Yuri can help me, nano ja!" she cheered, already dragging _her_ Yuri back toward the inn.

"It is alright, Yuri. I really do not mind assisting Patty-chan."

"Yeah, but my taste buds mind..." the dark-haired swordsman muttered, almost too low for even Patty herself to hear.

"What was that, Yuri?" Flynn asked in confusion.

"Huh? Oh, I was saying that Estelle was looking for you."

"No I'm not, Yuri," Estelle said, arriving on the scene. "Maybe you got the message confused?"

This time, Yuri's groan was audible to all present.

"I'll bet the kid just wants some alone time with Patty-chan," Raven muttered, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"And maybe you broke your brain, Old Man."

"Ouch, no need ta mock the elderly, Yuri. We're not as sharp as you young 'uns."

"Now, now, what's all of the fuss about?"

"Judith-chan!" Raven exclaimed, immediately gravitating toward the krityan.

"Oh, Yuri. Karol was looking for you. Something about warehouse cleaning duty."

Patty watched in dismay as Yuri pulled out of her grip and began making his way back toward the town's warehouse, muttering all the while about how they should never have gotten started in the warehouse cleaning business.

Frankly, Patty agreed. Anything that took her Yuri from her—and on Christmas Day, no less!—was an unnecessary evil.

Before he disappeared from sight, Yuri turned back to the group once more, just long enough to yell, "But really, Flynn. I'm willing to bet there's something more important the cooking dinner for you to do around here."

"I appreciate the concern, Yuri, but I'm really okay with cooking," Flynn muttered flatly, glaring after his friend.

Turning back to the group, the blond smiled, first at everyone, then back at Patty. "In fact, why don't you all take the day off? You've worked so hard these past few weeks, I'll make it all."

"Are you sure, nano ja?" Patty asked. "I said I'd make some, nano ja."

"Don't worry about it, Patty-chan. I'll take care of it. Enjoy a day off."

As the group dispersed, thanking Flynn as they did so, Patty could not help but wonder just what had had Yuri so concerned...

* * *

Rydia had slipped into town more-or-less unnoticed by anyone important, which suited her just fine. Flipping a strand of long, dark-blonde hair behind her shoulder, the twenty-year-old made her way over to where Brave Vesperia was just sitting down to Christmas dinner.

"Wow, this looks amazing, nano ja!" Rydia smiled a bit as the person she was there to see spoke up enthusiastically. "You should have cooked more often when we travelled together, nano ja!"

"Yeah, Flynn, why didn't you ever cook?" Rita, the auburn-haired fireball asked, her own teal eyes taking in the food with appreciation.

In response, the blond knight shrugged. "Yuri always took my turn, saying he wanted to do it."

"Oh, Yuri! That's horrible!" Estelle, the pink-haired girl, exclaimed. "Flynn's such a good cook!"

In the background to all of this, Yuri was clearly trying to keep a grimace off of his face, and Rydia really could not blame him. She knew what a 'good' cook Flynn was almost as well as Yuri himself did...

She had played through the Dahngrest cooking battle, after all.

As the group sat down to eat, Rydia cautiously began making her way closer. She really did not want to be too close when the catastrophe erupted, though.

"What the hell is this?" Rita yelped, leaping out of her chair and chucking a machine gun of ten fireballs straight for her plate. "It's been poisoned!"

"What?!" the guild all yelled collectively, leaping up in various stages of shock.

Flynn's expression clearly gave away his own horror. "What, but how? I swear I haven't left the food alone for even a minute!"

"The question isn't so much the 'how' as the 'who' and 'why'," Raven muttered, ponytail swinging as he shook his scruffy head.

"Yes, you are right, Raven-taichou," Flynn admitted, looking slightly ashamed. "I jumped ahead of myself."

In the meantime, Yuri had been cautiously sniffing each dish. Finally, the dark-haired man carefully tested a spoonful of gravy before pulling a face and spitting it back out.

"No, it hasn't. The food's perfectly safe...so long as you don't mind getting your stomach pumped after eating it."

"What are you saying, Yuri?" Flynn asked, blue eyes questioning.

"I'm saying, Flynn...that you're a terrible cook. I don't know why you're surprised. You cook for yourself, don't you? And when we were kids...we agreed eventually that you would just never cook again."

"I...do not recall this."

Yuri rolled his eyes. "It happened."

"So, our food's inedible, then?" Rita asked, sighing and rolling her eyes. "Great. And here I was looking forward to a good dinner cooked by Patty, and now we have no food at all."

"I'm sorry, nano ja," Patty muttered, averting her eyes to the grass. "I just...cooking is hard without my frying pan..."

Finally, Rydia decided that now would be as good a time as any to cut in.

"Um, excuse me?" she asked shyly, walking the last bit of distance to where the group was standing.

"Did you need Brave Vesperia's help, miss?" the youngest human member, Karol, asked, immediately striding over to her.

"Yes, we'd be more than happy to help such a lovely lady!" Raven exclaimed, making no secret of checking out the well-endowed blonde. Honestly, there were times Rydia _really_ hated her figure. She was tempted to smack the man with her gift for Patty.

"Actually, I'm here to see Patty."

"Me, nano ja?" the blonde pirate asked, walking over to where Rydia was standing.

"Yes, I have a present for you.

"Oh, and...my name's Rydia, by the way."

"The hell?" Yuri demanded. "Have we met you before?"

"Uh, well, not exactly," she admitted, shrugging. "I just felt bad for you guys having to deal with Flynn's cooking." That said with a bit of a smirk, which Yuri immediately matched.

"Please tell me it's food!" Rita exclaimed, stomping over.

"Not exactly."

"Then why the hell do we care?"

Ignoring the so-called 'Genius Mage', Rydia handed Patty the terribly-wrapped gift.

"Sorry my wrapping skills suck so much, but I hope you enjoy it anyway."

Curious, the blonde pirate carefully tore away the messy paper, only to have her eyes light up as she saw what was inside. Without hesitating, Patty threw her arms around Rydia and hugged her tightly.

"It's perfect, nano ja! Now I can make Christmas dinner for everyone! It'll be late, but I'll get it done, nano ja!"

Smiling at the excitement coursing through the entire group—everyone was fond of Patty's cooking skills, it seemed...although some were just as excited to not have to eat Flynn's food ever again—Rydia was about to bid her farewells when she suddenly found Yuri's face in her own. Blushing, she stepped back.

"Uh...what is it?"

"How the hell did you know she needed a new frying pan?"

"Well, uh...see, it's sorta my fault she broke it."

"Last I checked, she only did it ta save Yuri's sorry ass."

Yuri just grunted in response to Raven's words. It would be awhile before he was allowed to live that one down, and he knew it.

"Yeah, but it was my fault Yuri got stunned-"

"-the hell? No it wasn't-"

"-and Patty just acted to get me the Secret Mission."

"Secret Mission? What are you talking about?" Estelle asked, tilting her head slightly to one side.

"Uh, yeah. About that. Have you, y'know...ever noticed how occasionally the bosses you're fighting stop and...congratulate you?"

Surprisingly, it was Repede who answered with an energetic bark. Smiling, Rydia bent over to pat the dog on his head, only to be completely shunned when Repede turned and sauntered away.

Coughing to cover up her own failure, Rydia smiled weakly. "Yeah, uh...that's because you did something good in the fight. They're actually congratulating me, not you guys...even though you do all the work. So...yeah. Those are Secret Missions."

"You're insane."

"Shut up, Yuri!" Rydia snapped, pouting just a bit. "If that's too hard for you, then just think of it as a gift so you don't have to eat Flynn's cooking anymore."

"That's terrible!"

"It's quite alright, Estellise-sama. She's right, my cooking does leave something to be desired."

"Yeah, like new taste buds."

"Yuri!" Estelle scolded, frowning. "That's terrible."

"I'm going to go start on dinner, nano ja!" Patty chirped energetically, clearly unwilling to sit through more arguments.

"Why don't we all help?" Judith suggested, casting an eye over the group. "It'll get done faster that way."

"Yeah, and maybe Flynn will learn something, although I wouldn't hold my breath."

"Very funny, Yuri," Flynn muttered sarcastically.

Ignoring the boys, Rydia smiled at Patty. "Glad you like it. I guess I should leave now."

"No, a pretty thing like you? You should join us for dinner."

Smiling, Rydia quickly borrowed the frying pan from Patty and used it to smack Raven over the head before shrugging. "I guess I do make some pretty good cranberry sauce, although I can't make much else."

"Many hands make light work, nano ja!" Patty cheered, already leading the march back to the kitchen.

At the back of the line, Raven turned to Yuri and muttered, "I swear I've seen that fryin' pan before, though..."

Rydia just blushed and pointedly studied the grass.

* * *

Wonder Chef woke from the weirdest dream he had ever had with a pounding headache. He had dreamt that there had been a woman with wings—only they looked _horribly_ fake--in his room the previous night. The dream had only lasted long enough for him to ask her why she was there, and then, it seemed, the dream had ended. Only...it seemed that immediately before it had, something had been swung hard at him; _then_ the dream had ended.

Oh well, it was just a dream. Headache or no headache, it was time to get up and spread the love of cooking the world over.

Reaching under his pillow to retrieve his trusty frying pan, the eccentric cook let out a horrified gasp when his hand did not make contact with the cool metal. Ripping his pillow away from his bed, his eyes lighted upon a few thousand gald, nestled where the frying pan should have been. Along with the gald, he spotted a note, written in a messy scrawl.

Scanning its contents, although it took some effort to make out all of the words, he felt his eyes grow wide.

Dear Wonder Chef,

Thanks for the frying pan! It'll be put to good use!

Sincerely,

The Frying Pan Fairy

Never before had Wonder Chef been so confused.

* * *

_Just to say, this was based off of a true story. Patty really did get me this Mission with that Arte. If you've seen the Khroma Dragon, you'll realise how entertained I was. XD_

_Also...the title's a (bad/lame) pun. Anyone get it? _


End file.
